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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, I head over to the market on Via Milano. It’s packed! People everywhere, shouting about fresh veggies and fish. I’m trying to navigate through the crowd, and this guy bumps into me. I’m like, “Hey, watch it!” But he just shrugs and keeps walking. Rude, right? I mean, come on, we’re all in this together!

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